Does Motherhood Make You Poor?

Stephanie Coontz raises the valid point in this op-ed from the New York Times that, while women have made significant gains in the workplace since the 1960s, there is still an earnings gap and that earnings gap largely falls on the shoulders of mothers. Women without children are almost at earnings parity with men by now. Motherhood imposes significant costs on women.

So what? you might say. Having children is a choice. If you choose to start a family, something has to give. You work more flexible hours. You can't travel as much. You become less committed to your career as children and their concerns take over. Isn't that just obvious?

It's obvious because of the way we understand motherhood. It's assumed in our society that when women become mothers they have to sacrifice something: their earning potential, their time, their bodies, their pelvic floors at the very least. It is not questioned that a man can become a father without much sacrifice on his part. Biology has programmed us to accept that women bear the brunt of the cost of reproduction because that is how Homo Sapiens happens to procreate. We're not plants or bees (more's the pity).

This has created a world where motherhood can mean the end of a woman's career while fatherhood has no effect on a man's career or can in some cases even increase his status and earning potential. We accept that as a fact of life, something 'obvious', caused by the woman's 'choice' to have a baby. 

Biology is destiny then, certainly according to certain male decision-makers like Paul Tudor Jones, who caused offense with his recent comments about women's inability to focus on their careers once they become mothers. There is a grain of truth in his words in that the biological aspects of being pregnant, giving birth and nurturing a highly dependent child for a year or more can be overwhelming. What's questionable is the way he assumes, as many people do, that these few years of intense biological investment somehow determine a woman's path for life. In this view of things, motherhood is a transformative, all-or-nothing state for women whereas fatherhood is just incidental for men.

This is the kind of prejudice that pushes women who become mothers into poverty while their non-parent peers maintain their career trajectories. Motherhood can be all-consuming but it doesn't have to be. It depends on the child, the child's age and the mother. The early intense years don't last forever (thank Christ). The expectation that motherhood will change a woman's priorities and limit her ambitions can in fact be more damaging than motherhood itself.