Every so often, a wealthy, successful woman comes out with some clanger on 'traditional' gender roles, guaranteed to drive up page views and click throughs and traffic. Recently we had this gem of wisdom from the multi-millionaire model, Miranda Kerr:
"If you're really an alpha female, you don't allow [your partner] to have the space to feel like the man in the relationship. Maybe I am too traditional, but men feel important when you ask for their help, instead of thinking you can do it all on your own."
To be charitable here, we have to recognize that models are not known for their intellectual credentials. They are paid to look good, after all, not for their brainpower.
Women like Miranda Kerr do have a high profile, however, and serve as a role model for some misguided souls. Other rich and successful women even trade off the idea that they play a traditional role in their home lives, despite their high profiles. Beyoncé has controversially pitched her most recent world tour under her married name, 'Mrs Carter', confounding feminist commentators.
Gwyneth Paltrow is another example of someone who has enhanced her personal brand with appeals to 'traditional' values. She likes to portray herself as a homely wife and mother, having dinner ready for her husband when he is home, as in this quote from a profile in Harper's Bazaar in 2011:
"She... remain[s] positive about the relatively traditional role she plays as a wife and mother, with her husband's career commitments currently taking precedence over hers. "I have little kids in school. I want to maintain my marriage and my family, so I have to be here when he comes home.' "
Does anyone really believe that Gwyneth Paltrow lives the life of a 'traditional' wife and mother? Her filming schedule - the three Iron Man movies and a number of independent films in the last few years alone - is not compatible with a 9-5 schedule and neither is her musician husband's touring schedule.
It begs the question why these women feel the need to be so vocal about the so-called 'traditional' values that they follow in their personal lives. These are successful women in their own right with high profiles and personal fortunes built on years of hard work.
To me, I think a lot of these pronouncements come from guilt. None of us feel like we are doing the best job we can do as parents. If you are a movie star or celebrity, it's inevitable that you will need to rely on childcare and tutors and service personnel to maintain your home life and raise your children.
These women, like many career women, for some reason feel like they have to apologize for this. And so they 'play house' for the public, pretending to maintain normal home lives just like the rest of us regular schmoes.
What they do not understand, however, is that regular schmoes are actually working and sacrificing time with their families because they have to. For most people, having dinner on the table for a husband or giving their partners space to 'be a man' is the least of their worries. Most people have no help at all and work long hours to just make ends meet.
It is ironic that when celebrities say these things about maintaining their marriages and what they think is a normal family life, they are only revealing how far removed they are from the concerns of their fan-base.
Instead of trying to espouse what they think are normal family values, these women should instead be thankful that they are wealthy in their own right, independent of their husbands, have successful careers and can afford all the help they need to make things run smoothly at home. In doing so, they are living feminist values that many other women cannot afford. Maybe that explains why they in turn are so cavalier about those very same values, taking their freedom and good fortune for granted.
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